Thursday, July 2, 2009

It's going down

Back when we were just hearing whispers of Americans being denied visas to come here, PCVs speculated all kinds of possible outcomes. Of course, we hoped (and frankly, assumed) that in the end our new class would be granted their visas, and training would go on as planned. We also toyed with crazier ideas -- what if we all get sent home? What if we get offered a new assignment? But we agreed that the most difficult thing would be if our training class got canceled, AND the rest of us were expected to stay here.

Turns out there was one scenario still tougher than that.

These past 10 or so days have been a whirlwind, roller coaster time of confusion. We started hearing of some nebulous threats to Americans, but truthfully I felt (and still feel) perfectly safe. In the midst of that, due to continued difficulties with visas and the somewhat uncertain political situation here, our training class was officially canceled. Up to this point, Peace Corps had been hoping just to postpone the class until after elections July 18th, but now all those applicants are receiving new placements in other countries.

The blow was devastating, heartbreaking. I was in my village, and I learned the news from various phone calls and text messages. For the next day or two, I lived in what I termed a "waking coma." I had absolutely no motivation to do anything. No new volunteers. No new blood. No one with whom to share our hard-earned wisdom. I went through my calendar and crossed out essentially all my plans for July and August. We will not be hosting newbies in Boghé for Site Visit (when they get to see their future homes for the first time -- a really emotional and exciting time). I won't be helping at Model School or other Q&A training sessions. And there will be no swear-in, around which I specifically had planned my vacation.

I wanted to just dust myself off and say, yes, this is unfortunate, but things change and you need to make a new plan. But how could I when I felt like I didn't have any idea what was going to happen? There were so many rumors still floating around that maybe all PCVs would be leaving, or being re-assigned, or who knows. No one had any answers. In the days following that news, I jumped every time I heard my phone sound, because I thought at any moment I was going to get word that I should pack up and leave.

Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. I went through life in a daze, slowly-so-slowly coming to terms with this new reality.

Then Tuesday, crash.

Our country director officially announced the offer of "interrupted service." What this means is essentially two choices: stay and finish as planned, or leave early with the full benefits of having completed your two years of service. If you go home, you can opt to be done with Peace Corps, or you can re-apply for a new assignment.

I had had a lot of time to think, and I knew what I wanted. I'm not ready to leave yet. I'm excited about my classes next year, I adore the kids in my English Club, I feel like I finally know Pulaar, I have an amazing host family, and it took me this long just to understand how things work in this country. I know where to buy things, I know how to go places. I want to stay.

But everyone's situation is different, and there are many PCVs who are choosing to leave. They each have their reasons, and I respect them. But that doesn't make it any easier as I'm hearing, one by one, the names of other volunteers who have given their official notice. It looks like they will all be out of the country within two weeks, some sooner. My dear friend Yates leaves Boghé in five days. She was planning to visit my village next week, and she has care packages on their way here for her birthday. I got a phone call from Summer, who announced, "I'm just calling to say goodbye." Because her site is so far away, I will not even get to see her before she goes. So much is changing so fast.

At the beginning of June, Peace Corps Mauritania numbered about 130 volunteers. Between the second-years finishing, the cancellation of our new class, and the group choosing interrupted service, my best estimation is we may be left with less than 50 by the end of this month. At least 13 Girls' Mentoring Centers across the country now have no PCVs assigned to them. There will unquestionably be a nationwide shortage of English teachers. Financially, too, there will be strain on all of us -- those who are left to pick up the pieces.

Could use your support and prayers. Don't know what else to say.

9 comments:

C Nishi said...

Just got an email from my daughter, voicing similar sentiments. She too has chosen to stay, and I am so happy for her. So proud too of you all, what a journey it has been. I had really hoped that after getting thru that tough first year, that we would be hearing more wonderful stories during the second "gravy" year - that you all would now get to enjoy the fruits of your labor. But PCVs have shown me what resilience is and to be flexible. So I wish you all the best - whether it's back at home or still there at site. Thank you for sharing your blog, and for your service!
Best regards,
Kat's mom

C Nishi said...

ps. sending you a big hug, too!

Mike said...

Glad to hear you're staying. 2nd year's gonna be great, we're pros now. It's awesome you had success with your English Club, those kids are NEVER going to forget you and to be able to give a second year for that is amazing.

Allison said...

I'm also a parent of a PCV who is staying. You will be a small group, but mighty!

I don't know if you realize how many parents lurk on the blogs of you wonderful volunteers. We get a broader picture of what life is like for you when we can read stories of all of your adventures.

Although you don't know me, I often send up a prayer for all of you who are volunteering. I'll continue to do so.

Know that you are changing lives and keep at it.

A loyal reader,
Allison Tyler
John's Mom

Unknown said...

Julie Ann -- By now you know how much I absolutely adore you. However, to reiterate: you guys are amazing. I am so very happy that Ryan has his PK7 group to call friends, and that circle has broadened to many other PCVs. You also know how much your blog (and others) has meant to me (my daughters still call me "stalker mom"), and this entry was wonderful. You captured what I'm sure so many PCVs are feeling right now.
Take care of yourself and rest assured that my prayers and support are with you always.
Love,
Vicki (aka, Ryan's mom)

JohnnyC said...

hang in there, ms. clark. be strong.

musicditdot said...

Unsettling times call for loads of prayer, for peace, for safety, and for wisdom. I'll stand with you in this way.
Love you,
Aunt Dot

Chante' said...

Wow...you're great for deciding to stay. I guess I need to prepare myself for situations like that. Reading it, I don't know what I would have done. Being there would be different. Definitely praying.

Anonymous said...

I too am a mother of a volunteer that is staying. He doesn't have a blog, and is in such a remote place that I don't hear from him often. I have been looking at other postings since the aid worker was killed in June. It's been a way to keep up a little with what's going on there. I have the greatest admiration for all of you and what you're doing. Just take care of yourself. If you should see Zac, please give him a hug for me.

Kim DeFur, Zac Spencer's mom